What is good is not easy, but it is good! Sometimes life is hard, but what good is it that comes out of life’s difficulties? Many years ago I fell in love and felt loved by another person. I was all of 18 years old at the time. Her name was Cheryl. Being enjoyed and delighted in by each other brought richness to the relationship. Adventures together, talking about friends and family, opened doors to new friendships. Living in different towns we spent time together once a month, talking weekly on the phone. Life was good. I looked forward to the drive or flight to see her. The last time I saw her was a dreadful ending to something that was once good.  The relationship ended abruptly, something I did not anticipate. The ache I felt inside was not only painful but overwhelming. I did not know how to deal with the sadness, which I kept to myself. I eventually told myself that I would never let anyone hurt me like that again. The pain seemed to go away.  What I didn’t know, the pain was internalized, still part of my life in ways unknown to me. Many years later I was weary running from something that mattered. It was like, “I can’t run away from my pain. Its still there.

Paradoxically pain is important though not pleasant.  Ignoring our pain affects our relationships with others. We often respond with anger toward those who expose our pain. I’ve responded to others this way many times over the years. 

When we learn to acknowledge pain, this gives us the capacity to value and support those are going through painful times. Our pain is meant to be known/understand by someone else. Making sense of pain occurs in relationship with others. I believe dealing with our pain and the pain of others through genuine interest, understanding, and empathy is important. This leads to greater hope being loved through our relationships with one another.